The Genius Of Half Man Half Biscuit #5

This week, we are in the presence of greatness, the high priest of our music-blogging community. Ladies and gentlemen, Mr Vinyl Villain himself - JC. All be upstanding please...

We don't have kids and therefore have no possibility of being an issue should myself and Mrs Villain ever decide to split up. But we both have friends who are in completely different situations and the custody of the kids has been, and in one particularly on-going and very messy situation still is, the most important thing to fight for in any divorce battle.  It can be vicious, disgusting to observe, heart-breaking and inhumane.

It clearly is no laughing matter. Far from it.

And yet....these particular lines, more than any other in the thirty-plus years that HMHB have been recording, made me laugh out loud more than any other:

   "I’m gonna feed our children non-organic food
   And with the money saved take ’em to the zoo."

Totnes Bickering Fair, is a divorce song, but not in any way similar to the heart-rending tune made famous by Tammy Wynette back in the 70s.  HMHB celebrate this particular permanent separation with great aplomb, offering us a joyous rant from a bloke to his now ex-wife. At long last, after lord knows how many years, he no longer has to suffer in silence living with someone whose entire being centres around the latest and costly fad into which the the entire family had been sucked whether they liked it or not.

There is unbridled joy in his voice and no longer is he worrying about political correctness, politeness or what anyone else thinks.  He's free to be like a Soup Dragon, via a Rolling Stone, and to do what he wants, any old time.

And you get the feeling that the kids will be 100% on dad's side. Let's go feed the lions...

• Totnes Bickering Fair - Half Man Half Biscuit (from 'CSI: Ambleside')

JC will be back later in the series as he rattled off three of these in one evening. That, my friends, is why he is the guv'nor!